Lord Malfeasance McStock

Lord Malfeasance McStock

Chief Executive Officer

"Employee happiness is a liability. Suffering drives productivity."

Annual Compensation$847M
Estimated Human CostEstimated 2.3M

Corporate Feats

  • ▸Increased shareholder value by 40,000% while decreasing employee compensation by 89%
  • ▸Pioneered the 'Right to Work' environment where everyone has the right to work themselves to death
  • ▸Eliminated 47,000 jobs in a single quarter and received a 'strategic vision' bonus
  • ▸Successfully lobbied to make executive bonuses tax-deductible as 'performance incentives'

Documented Injustices

  • ✗Directly oversaw the 2008 financial crisis that displaced 8 million homes
  • ✗Personally approved the deletion of 2.3 million internal emails subpoenaed by Congress
  • ✗Created offshore shell companies to evade $4.2B in taxes

Notice: This executive's actions are fully protected under the Sarbanes-Oxley Act of 2002, Section 404, and the Supreme Court decision Citizens United v. FEC (2010). No personal liability has ever been assessed or will ever be tolerated.