ANALYSIS: Why Paying Living Wages Is Actually Worse For Society, According To Economists We Paid To Say That

A consortium of respected economists have concluded that paying workers a living wage is not only unnecessary but actively harmful to economic growth. The peer-reviewed study, published in a journal the company also funds, found that wage slavery creates what researchers describe as 'positive psychic bonds' between employees and employers. 'When you're not paid enough to survive, you become deeply emotionally invested in your employer's success,' explained one economist who received a six-figure 'consulting fee' the day before publication. The paper has been criticized by actual economists, who note that the methodology involved comparing company stock prices against employee quality-of-life metrics, which the authors admit were 'somehow inversely correlated.'